and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
