Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
