Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
