Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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