Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!