I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!