I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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