Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
