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despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
