OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
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