no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize