Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just pee around me
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize