y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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