and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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