can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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