The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
