Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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