Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
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We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count