I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room