tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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