i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
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she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
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I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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