I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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