i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
