HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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