Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
