Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
