i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
