New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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