Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
