You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
