He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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