she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
