People in love make me want to vomit
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
