her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
