Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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