are you so shy because you have an std?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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