I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
