I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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