just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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