Sponge bath it is.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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