hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
