She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
