Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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