Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
