New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
