I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You made out with two different species that night
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
