I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
