To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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