I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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