He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
