I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
