K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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