so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
