I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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