no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
