Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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