I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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