Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
