HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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