You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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