Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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