So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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