are you so shy because you have an std?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
40s are totally the cure
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
